Departure from Hamburg and the Trip to Philadelphia.

During the entire time of our stay in Hamburg we had had an east wind, and I was also often very disturbed about the fact that we could not use a wind so favorable to sea travel. Now I looked at the flag and noticed that we had a west wind and soon also heard that the sailors had to fight against the ocean most of the time to Cuxhaven the previous day.

Then in the company of our innkeeper and two young traveIling companions we left Hamburg and went to the home of Captain Fokkes on the Hamburg hill, where the other passengers also assembled, and boarded a Blankenese fishing boat in the harbor of Altona at 6 o'clock in the evening. The trip went very slowly from that place, since the wind opposed us and had to be constantly tacked, causing us to arrive at twelve midnight at the Ocean, which we then boarded. We were all tired and craved sleep. The cabin passengers, four in number, found their berths ready; we passengers in the middle deck had to help ourselves the best we could and reclined on bed clothing that my wife brought. We all slept very well.

The next day hanging pallets were fashioned for the other middle deck passengers, but the ship's carpenter made a regular bedstead fastened to the floor of the ship for me and my wife. Then we rode with the captain and other passengers in a sloop on the Elbe to Bassenfleeth, a village near Stade to the pilot Müller, where our two Vallstedter were staying. The people there had very large orchards, filled with fruit trees of the best kind and many cherry trees, at which I was amazed; all of them hung so full of cherries of all kinds that they were bent over. Here it was a pleasure to eat cherries and we helped ourselves well; then the hospitable people looked for many of the best kinds for us, of which each of us filled his handkerchief and other containers. The two Vallstedter had borrowed three thaler spending money upon their departure from Captain Fokkes, for six thaler had bought themselves a weapon, and Müller asked seven thaler for the two weeks' stay; so here again I had to pay sixteen thaler for my Vallstedter countrymen, about which, as may be easily surmised, I was upset to the greatest degree, but which I did not dwell upon further, since it was of no use. That evening late we went back to the Ocean and took the two Vallstedter along. The cherries and strawberries were very cheap and for this reason we enjoyed them often in Hamburg and daily they were brought in great amounts to our harbor and also on board our ship, because we could not depart and our ship lay at anchor in this harbor until July 15 on account of contrary wind. During this time on the ship we experienced the first storm which was so impulsive that all the passengers who were on ship for the first time became prematurely seasick, except for me and one Vallstedter; at least we were not overtaken with vomiting.

On the 15th of July we got a north wind, our pilot Müller came on board early and finally we sailed into the North Sea, where we soon passed the island of Heligoland, which had a high bank through which a straight opening passed over the breadth of the whole island so that one can see from one side to the other. The island became smaller and smaller, because its banks were strongly washed away and collapsed. The whole island has a lean, sandy soil. The inhabitants of the same earn their living from catching fish.

On this day we moved so far into the North Sea that our pilot Müller was let go. He was a very skilled person; upon his discharge the hymn "Now thank we all our God" was sung.

Then we saw the coast of Holland, which, however, soon disappeared before our eyes. The wind was very favorable, and since several ships began to sail at the same time with us, we had the pleasure of seeing the competition between the captains of them all, for each one wanted to sail faster than the next. Our captain seemed to have no interest in participating in that in the beginning, and quite a few ships were already quite far in front of us. But an Englishman, who was still in back of us, roped us in and sailed directly past our ship. Since in passing the ship took the wind from ours, before it went ahead of us, the English ship personnel laughed and jeered loudly about it, Captain Fokkes was angered and put some extra resting sails into action and said the words: "Teuf! ek will dieh!" ("Devil! I'll get you!") The Englishmen, who were several gun blasts ahead of us, increased their efforts enormously to stay ahead of us, but with each minute we saw that we were getting closer to them. After about 15 minutes our Ocean was right next to the English and took away their wind to the extent that all the sails of the English ship collapsed and everyone who had breath on our Ocean clapped his hands to punish the Englishmen for their glee; our sailors also held a line in their hands and teased the Englishmen to grab it if they wanted to go with us. With that our sailors were satisfied and this filled them all with good spirits so that they wanted to try to see whether we could not catch up on the same day to all the ships which had begun with us into the North Sea; and really after three good hours we caught up to them all and toward evening we were already so far ahead that we could not see even one of them anymore. So quickly sailed the Ocean.

On the second evening after our departure from Cuxhaven we saw the fire of the British lighthouses which provided a real show for us and for reason of which we did not get to bed until after midnight. The next morning early we saw to the right ahead of us the English and to the left the French coast and came into the great channel, ninety German miles long, which separates England from France. Both high and steep banks appeared to us to be very close as we found ourselves in the middle between the same, and it seemed unbelievable to me when Captain Fokkes told us that this channel at its narrowest point, where we were at the time, was nevertheless seven geographical miles wide. The French shore is interchangeably red and gold, but the English for a long stretch snow white. The farther we came into the channel, the wider it became, the shores became more and more separated, until they completely disappeared. Scarcely had we come into the channel than we got a contrary wind; for this reason it had to be constantly tacked and on that account we had to spend fourteen days sailing in it before we got to the great Atlantic Ocean. During this time we often caught fish on the line, and the ship personnel shot with harpoon and other instruments mackerel, good eating fish, of which we often had a wonderful meal, because they taste so good. There we ran into many English fishermen, who took these fish to Hamburg to sell, and to one of them the captain gave letters to his wife and the businessman Behrend Rhode in Hamburg, the owner of the Ocean, for which service he gave the fisherman three thaler in money and a good supply of meat and bread.

Upon our entrance into the Atlantic Ocean at night we had a very strong storm which not only woke all of us up out of sleep, but also caused us no littIe amount of concern and fear, and I became afraid for the first time, for the ship lurched so horribly much that we were almost stood one time on our heads in our beds, the next time on our feet, and I felt so terrible as though I would have to vomit; for this reason I climbed out of bed to go out onto the deck, but I could not find the steps because each moment I was tossed from one side to the other. While I was tumbling and creeping along the floor in this fashion, one of our fellow passengers fell with a horrid thud and cry out of his hanging pallet, which was not fastened securely enough at one end. Finally I succeeded in reaching the stairs and coming up to the deck, where I heard the captain himself giving orders, whom I asked immediately whether we were out of danger? "Yes, indeed!" he answered me, "This is wonderful weather, it all moves as though it had been greased, the ship sails fourteen German miles in one watch just go back down again to your wife and tell her that we have nothing to fear. If only we could always have such weather," he added, "then we would soon reach America." But this wonderful weather lasted barely more than an hour, then the storm not only subsided, but for several hours there was a complete calm, and as cheerful as our captain was at midnight, he was that moody in the morning, as his Ocean lay still and quiet. But the sailors laughed secretly like rascals; for these people get a certain amount for the months that they are on board, and they wish that each trip take many months, so that they can earn more money. During the whole trip on the sea we had only a little good wind, and because we made the trip in the middle of the summer, it happened that we often had two days of complete calm. The heat was also uncommonly strong all the time and was often unbearable in our contained enclosures in the middle deck, for which reason we rather stayed on the deck above also during sunshine, where the sun tanned our faces and hands dark brown. We always rejoiced at the arrival of the dear cooler evenings, and my wife and I often stayed above until two in the morning, because below there was no bearing the heat and we were bathed in sweat. It was worst of all for us when rainy weather came, but luckily for us this was not often the case. Then we either had to give in to the rain above, or to withstand the suffocating heat below, because then the hatches were tightly closed, so that not the least fresh air could penetrate; then also in this enclosure it was so dark that one could not see a step ahead of himself. I remembered then how this enclosure, when I had first seen it when I entered the Ocean, was so prettily lighted through glass panes; but these panes were all taken out before we came to the ship and some of them were placed over the cabin and its adjacent room, others over the sleeping quarters of the ruddermen, although these rooms already had light in abundance. It was really nasty of these people not to leave us even a windowpane, since all of us had paid so much money for our passage.

The passengers in the middle deck of German ships must be satisfied with far fewer amenities. It is also an exception if the captain and his honored cabin passengers lower themselves so far to speak with a passenger in the middle deck, who according to them stands so far beneath them. I know of no greater arrogance than when a person is proud of the fact that he could pay more money than others and live better for a short time and show this distinction all the time.

In the first half of the sea voyage my health became better with each day; I was feeling far better than had been the case for many years. But then this fortune was interrupted by the bad company in which it was necessary for me to live. From the Vallstedter I had to experience not only the greatest ingratitude, but also the most abominable treatment, which I add here only as a warning to those who want to travel to America with the intention of seeking their fortune as a farmer there, and for that reason believe it fortunate if they think they have found volunteers from the home country whom they would be sure to need there and wish to take them along. No matter if one has the best intentions toward these people; no matter if one is also pleasant to them; no matter if one has the most binding promises from their side and has concluded the most holy pacts with them; one is always rewarded with ingratitude, calumny and the like from them, and there are only few examples where one does not have to lament having gotten himself in with such people.

I do not want to clarify for the readers with minutiae that would show clearly that the Vallstedter, who were referred to me by their own, for whom I already gave extensive amounts of money and whose future had been placed squarely in my hands, made life sour for me through their impudent and arrogant attitude toward me during the trip, and through their manifold taunts so that on the journey already I had to withdraw completely from them without hope of ever receiving even the slightest portion of my cash outlay for them.

The party under the deck consisted of, in addition to me and my wife and the two Vallstedter, three other passengers, 1) a Glückstädter, 2) a musician from Orau in Saxony and 3) yet another young Saxon whose native town I have forgotten.

The Glückstädter was the most godless of them all, who could not rest until he had succeeded in making the Vallstedter completely abhorrent to me; I myself had to listen as he told them: "Why do you want to work yourselves to a frazzle with the old fellow? He is going with you into the wilderness, and you will have to work for him as the Negroes, etc. But if you remain in Philadelphia, hire yourselves out there and work, there you can make money hand over foot and be rich within a short time."

From this person the two Vallstedter learned the most disgusting curses and oaths which they would use at the slightest provocation especially while playing cards, at which they constantly argued, which would, as usual, bring the game to an end. However, new desire to play soon unified them again, to start in anew.

The most disgusting obscenities were spoken and sung, everything just to anger and sicken me. Yet I could not refrain from reprimanding my Vallstedter to behave themselves better, and when I first did this, the above mentioned Glückstädter jumped up, called me an old bear, threatened me with his fist above my head with horrible curses and oaths; I only wanted to say an additional word to the young Vallstedter, and he wanted to massacre me, and the others stood next to him with the stance that they would join in hitting if I were to say much. For this reason I had to silence my reprimands and from then on said not a word more to my Vallstedter. Up to that time we seven passengers of the middle deck had eaten at one table, but now these persons wanted to remove us two old people from their company; but since they were not allowed to do this by force, they used other means, namely obscenities and nastiness, which were also carried on now during the entire meal. They often took the food out of the platter with their fingers and otherwise perpetrated such nastiness that is so disgusting that I am ashamed to write it down here. Then I had the cook give me my portion of food and ate above on the deck of the ship. My wife endured the abominations for several days longer and then also ate with me above on the deck. Even there the wicked persons would not let us eat our meal in peace, but one of them stood or sat close in front of us each time and stared at us silently and mockingly with his big eyes during the whole meal, simply to anger us.

I never would have believed it, if I had not myself experienced it, that people could so powerfully suppress the better feelings of their heart, least of all, however, of these Vallstedter, for whom I had done so much good, and for whom also my wife during the stay in Hamburg and on the entire journey by sea did laundry and repaired laundry and clothes, and still did this, even when they became so impudent toward us.

If I had the slightest inclination I wrote above on the deck or I read in books. To that end I looked for a comfortable place and of the materials that were at my disposal I made a kind of table and seat, as well as I could. But just as soon as I stood up only one time and took one step from my place, that soon one of the youths took my place, and I had to give up my endeavor or seek out another place for myself. My wife fared no better; as soon as she stood up from the place where she was darning or sewing, one of the youths would take her place every time, until she looked for another place for herself. I will pass by in silence many other low confrontations, incivilities and calumnies that we had to bear from these persons in order not to make this chapter, which is already longer than I originally planned, even longer.

To complain to Captain Fokkes about the injustices carried out against us would have led nowhere, because he had meanwhile, since we were on the sea, become a completely different man. To him I was slandered daily by the often mentioned Glückstädter, and these slanderings contributed no small degree to the fact that Captain Fokkes, who otherwise was courteous and friendly to me, became coarse and unmoving. Formerly he would ask daily about my well being and was the picture of courtesy; but since the time that the youths treated us so unjustly and nastily he did not speak to me. Formerly he would shout a right friendly good morning to me, as soon as he saw me in the morning, but now he did not respond to my good morning; formerIy he would speak very friendly to me as often as we would meet on the deck, but now he would have gone around me, had I not moved far enough out of his way, for he always set his eyes in the air in order not to see me. To this man who did such an abominable evil although I did not insult him with a sign and even less with a word, I did not want to complain and indeed could not about the underhanded treatment of the oft mentioned persons, because it would have been of no use to me. He knew everything that happened very well, and since he spoke with the wicked chaps, especially with the worst of them all, the Glückstädter, and not only consented to the most demeaning obscenities of these people, but also often joined in them himself, I had to believe that he consented to their underhanded attitude toward me. For that reason I gave in to my plight and bore everything that was laid upon me to bear. My suffering, my concern and depression I do not wish to describe; they were indescribably great in that I had to be with these people. It is the greatest misfortune if one cannot get out of the way of his enemies and must constantly be close to them. I often wished for a hurricane, because then I had peace, since each person had to stay quietly in his place; but such periods came only seldom. Oh, the second half of this journey on the sea seemed to me an eternity. The unmitigated sufferings and the gnawing depression had a very unfavorable influence on my health; with each day I became weaker because I could enjoy only very little. Yet the healthful air, which I daily enjoyed, preserved me and kept me from an actual sickness. Nothing else of great importance happened on this sea journey. We had storms, as already recalled, only very seldom and never one that lasted. But often we had a complete calm, and the sea was like a big surface of a mirror. This big, genuinely heavenly blue, pretty and splendid surface provided me then with a wonderful show. The color of the Elbe water is pale and somewhat anemic. This color then becomes closer to green the closer one gets to the North Sea. On entering this it becomes first of all light green and then further on grass green. When one comes closer to the coasts of England and France then the water again loses the grass green color and once again becomes pale green, and in the channel that separates England and France it again takes on the usual color of sweet water. Upon leaving this channel it once again takes a greenish cast, and this color changes more and more into blue the further one comes into the great Atlantic Ocean. After several days' journey on the same the water then becomes a right pretty sky blue. When one comes closer to the coast of America, the water again little by little takes on the clark green color which then becomes light green again and in the Delaware Bay pale again. The sea water, wherever one scooped it on our journey, was generally right bright and clear as the nicest spring water. In the Atlantic Ocean I found the water to be far saltier than in the North Sea. According to the opinion of many, the water in the gulf stream is supposed to be luke warm, but I found it to be not appreciably warmer than the rest of the sea water.

If one looks overboard into the ocean at nighttime, it is as if many glowing coals were swimming next to the ship, and at the forepart of the ship, especially if it is sailing quickly, it looks as though it were cutting through a mighty pile of strongly glowing coals, which here and there give off small bluish flames; until one is used to it, this is a right intriguing view. It is the foam that the ship stirs up by its strong batting into the water with its forepart and by its strong forward sailing; the glow of the foam is probably caused by the many components of saltpeter in the sea water.

The surge of the sea is right majestic when it makes towering mountains whose peaks appear to reach to the clouds, and right then at the same place where the mountain stood one can see an abyss whose depth the eye cannot hope to reach, because it is dark night down there. One sees this rising and disappearing of the mighty mountains and fright-provoking abysses generally all around, near and far. The foam of the sea water gives the surging mountains an artistic appearance as though they were partly covered with great masses of snow. If the billows and waves of the sea are not really so big, it seems to one as though he were in the middle of a monstrously large valley; for one has mountains in front, behind and alongside of him, and it always seems as though the ship would have to climb a monstrous mountain whose peak, however, one never attains. All of these surging mountains appear to be covered with snow, to be sure not completely, but yet at many places; almost as when in the wintertime in the country, when a thaw has come and the snow has melted away at many places, one looks into a monstrously large mountainous field, for the billows make much foam, which appears as though it were snow.

In the channel we ran into many ships coming from America that pressed together there in the narrow watercourse; in the Atlantic Ocean, however, we saw a ship at the distant horizon only seldom. When ships meet each other, and are not too far apart from one another, it is the custom that they greet each other, which happens in the following way: both of them hang out the big flag at the back part of the ship, pull (in ship's language "hoist"') it then three times slowly into the air and let it down again in the same way. On each flag is the coat of arms of the country to which the ship belongs; for example Hamburg flies three big towers, the United States twenty-two stars, etc. About in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean a ship came toward us and showed a red flag earlier than usual. Our captain did not return the greeting, and when he was asked the reason he said that this was an Algerian pirate ship, and issued the command that everyone alive on the ship should come up to the deck and walk back and forth among each other, so that the pirate ship might know that this was not a freighter, but a transport ship on which a large group of people was to be found, but no wares and freight. The first mate came to me meanwhile while I was sitting in front on the deck with my wife, smoking a pipe of tobacco, and said, "Does the little pipe taste good to you?" "If the pirate ship comes, then we are lost; it will butcher everything alive on the ship!" I answered him in complete ease that my life was not so dear to me. The boatsman who was busy next to me countered stealthily to me when the mate had left, "You did that well!" Then I asked him whether he too believed that the ship approaching us was a pirate ship. "No," he said, '"I won't let myself be talked into anything like that, for I have travelled on the sea too long already to be roped in like that; the Algerian pirates do not come into this territory at all." He said this quietly to me, and wanted to say more to me, but was interrupted by a sailor who spoke to him.

The presumed pirate ship meanwhile sailed past and left us in peace, and everyone who was anxious and afraid before became joyous and cheerful. After several hours, however, the captain again said that he had reason to fear that the pirate ship could turn around and catch up to us the next night. They brought this message to the front of the ship where I was occupied with reading, but I gave the curt answer, let it! Our party stayed on the deck until toward morning the next night; my wife and I, however, went to bed exceptionally early this time and slept soundly, without being disturbed by a pirate ship.

If Captain Fokkes intended to upset us, then this was a very irrational joke, for how easily some misfortune could have arisen through it! In the cabin a young businessman from Hamburg by the name of Hartung and an economist native to the Mecklenburg area by the name of Ruge with his highly pregnant wife and a little son who was about one year old were lodging. What bad consequences the fright could have had for this pregnant woman! But perhaps the cabin passengers were well aware of the situation and only acted as though they were anxious and afraid, to make us anxious and afraid too. It must be a miserable kind of delight to influence people to the point where they bring their fellow men into fear and fright.

On German ships it is the custom that the sailors initiate each person who has not yet travelled across the sea and is making the trip for the first time, about halfway across, which takes place in the following way: the night before, as soon as it gets dark, they secretly start a burning fire in front of the ship on the sea, and as soon as it is burning at a great pace at a small distance from the ship, they make noise in order to draw the attention of the passengers to it, as to an extraordinary happening, saying: the sea god Neptune lets himself be seen in the fire and tomorrow will send his servants and similar things. The next morning they lock up the sleeping compartments of these new travelers and then, when they are out of bed, they call them one by one by name and let them come out, from the oldest to the youngest. Since I was the oldest in our compartment, I was called first to come on the deck, where I had to sit down in a chair. The sailors, who were specially dressed and who had either painted their faces or put on masks, placed themselves around me, tied a cloth over my eyes, and, as it seemed to me, soaped up my beard and shaved me; but when the barber was finished, before I could get up and my eyes were opened again, they poured a bucket of water over my head. Then I really had to wash myself thoroughly, for instead of soap they blackened me with lampblack. I came away from this all right, because the faces of the other passengers, who were called one after the other, were painted totally black, and some of these got water poured on their heads ten times; even the first mate, who had not yet been to America, did not fare any better. For this carrying-on the sailors were afterwards paid a considerable gratuity.

The fish stirred up in us amazement and delight when they came close to our ship in large hordes. Most of all we saw the ones the sailors called porpoises [Meer schweine in German-sea pigs] which approached our ship with a grunting as pigs and also had the appearance of a great herd of pigs. They all had the color of pigs fattened with brandy mash and the biggest of them might well weigh over 100 pounds. Often they travelled a quarter of an hour long beside our ship, everyone of them with his back out of the water. None of these fish was caught. More than once we also saw a large shark which, because it was too large, was let go in peace. However once when a young shark appeared, he was caught by means of bait on a hook, and while he was writhing on the same, Captain Fokkes shot him through with the harpoon. The sailors then pulled him onto the ship, where he flipped a long time until he completely died to death. Then the cook pulled the skin off of him, and prepared him for a meal; his length was somewhat over four ells. The prettiest fish that I have ever seen are the dolphins, of which the largest are approximately one and a half ells long; of these many were caught by means of the harpoon. Their color is golden yellow interspersed with green and blue. Fried they taste extra fine, so that I would consider them superior to any sea fish. We likewise saw flying fish very often that flew about 300 feet over the water in the air when the shark whose food they are came close to them and then went into the water again. A single huge fish we saw during our journey. When the sun shone he positioned himself upright in the water about twenty ells high, made a great arc, and then dove with his head into the sea again. When he once again appeared to be completely in the water, he blew two great streams of water, like those of a fire hose, in the fashion of a whale, straight into the air, and they formed a cloud above. He had the girth of a very pronounced oak tree. At the reckoning of the captain this fish, which he called a Nordkaper, should have been more than 100 ells long.

On the second day before we saw the coast of America, a sailor told us he could already smell America! We laughed about it, but when we rightly attuned our noses, all of us also felt a sweet, pleasant aroma, because a gentle wind from there came toward us.

The next morning several boats with pilots came to us and our captain hired one of these people to take over the leading of the ship into the harbor of Philadelphia for thirty-six American dollars. The man was exceptionally attentive to the directing of the ship, only we passengers could not exchange a word with him since he understood no German. By nighttime we were close to Delaware Bay and still had not seen the land of freedom from the distance. The next morning with the dawning of the day the sailors called to us: if we wanted to see America before we reached land we had to come quickly onto the deck. The ship now went directly into Delaware Bay and after about a quarter of an hour we saw right and left the land that we had wished to see with such great desire for such a long time, although still in the distance, since the bay at its mouth is very wide; but the farther we went in, the closer the banks on both sides came toward us. We then ran from one side of the ship to the other, so as to overlook or miss nothing, and still one had seen this, another that which the rest had not seen. It is an indescribable joy when one has seen nothing in such a long time except sky and water and now all of a sudden sees the wonderful green of the forests, the mountains, the valleys and fields, including the creatures of God living in them. The romantic objects of both sides of the beautiful low bank of this stream offered us all the greatest pleasure and everyone was cheerful and breathed joy.

About six English miles from Philadelphia, at New Castle, we had to stop, cast anchor and wait for the health commission from the station there, where we had to spend three hours of time, before we were in line, because other ships were waiting at anchor for the same reason. Finally the health officers came on board our ship too. The captain went with them into the cabin and held quite a long conversation with them in the English language. Then everyone who was on board had to stand in line to be looked at by these three men; thereupon we were all declared healthy. However, on account of the water that the sailors were pumping out of the ship and of which the men named were brought a full glass, our captain received a notice that he should have pumped out the foul water several hours earlier and poured in fresh. But they gave him written permission and then marched off. The sailors then weighed anchor, the trip to Philadelphia was continued, and in several hours we were there. This took place on September 20 at 2 in the afternoon and our journey by water was fortunately ended for this time.

On this day we remained on board the ship, because there was a huge crowd of other ships that lay at anchor in this port, and ours could not yet be brought close to the city. Our first American food was watermelon that was brought on board our ship. They grow as big there as the pumpkins with us, taste very sweet and pleasant and have much juice. There they are grown as are the pumpkins in great amounts in the cornfields and for that reason are mockingly cheap. The port of Philadelphia is massively big, roomy and comfortable. The ships that are loaded and unloaded are right at the shores of the Delaware, which borders the city, and here it is very nicely walled up so that the wares can be loaded out of the ship directly into the wagons and vice versa. When we wanted to get to our ship and back again in Hamburg, it always had to be with a porter and a transport wagon that cost four shillings per person each time; but even if the ship lay 100 feet distant from the shore, we could here go past other ships by foot each time and therefore into the city and back again without cost.

When, after the eleven weeks less one day that we were on the ship, I first stepped onto firm ground in Philadelphia, a spell came over me and it seemed to me that the street was so uneven that I would always step with each foot from the height into a depth, also as though the houses and other objects had moved, and this lasted well a quarter of an hour.

Philadelphia is without a doubt one of the most beautiful cities on earth; it has only straight and very wide streets that intersect at right angles and big, splendid massive houses, some of brick, some of pretty white fieldstone, some however, at the front, even of marble.

Source: Edited by Bryan Wright